sara on pause

i have a funny life. sometimes it seems in order to keep one person happy i have to piss off and alienate 5 other people, then when i try to bring things back to normal it all shifts horribly the wrong way.

now look, i know im nothing special, i know i should be lucky to have any of these people in my world in the first place. i know that the people that want to stay do so while tolerating a ton of hassle and bullshit, i don't have an easy world to be in, not in any way. i know all of this.

but man, sometimes i just wish everything i do to make these people happy would buy me a little bit of breathing room when i fuck up.... which is a lot. seriously, i'm not bitching, i'm just talking about things the way they actually are.

i lose people because i push, but i push for a reason, i just wish the results could be enough to rise above all the tedium. maybe one day it will be.

fuck it, here's a pretty picture of Sara i shot today.